Girl… goes cruising down the danube

Where: A Taste Of The Danube river cruise, Austria, Slovakia, Hungary

Why: I’m going to be honest here – I’ve never thought of myself as a ‘cruise person’. For better or worse, cruising has a ‘retirement’-slash-‘floating hen night’ stigma that has never really appealed to me. So when my friend Tony invited me to go with him on a press trip down the Danube for three nights on a luxury river-cruise, I decided to put my judgy ways behind me and give it a try. For a start, this was not an ocean cruise but a river cruise, so the boat would be docking every day, allowing us to get off and explore. Secondly, it started in Vienna and ended in Budapest (two cities I love), which would give me a chance to see parts of Austria, Hungary and Slovakia I’d never seen before. And thirdly, when you’re a travel writer, you never say no to a luxury press trip!

After missing my flight and having to buy another one from Gatwick to Vienna, I finally arrived and headed to the ‘Illumination’ – a brand spanking new 83-cabin vessel from Swiss operator Avalon Waterways. We were there to celebrate the Illumination’s maiden voyage and after a bottle of champagne was smashed against its hull, we boarded the boat to check out our digs for the next few nights. We headed straight to our suite (a Panorama Suite that felt more like a boutique hotel room) and were immediately wowed by the floor-to-ceiling glass window-come-sliding-door wall that gave you full, uninterrupted views of everything we sailed past. The other great thing about the room was that the beds (complete with Egyptian-cotton sheets and a pillow menu for those with delicate sleep needs) faced the window, which made for great horizontal viewing! The marble bathroom was immaculate and spacious with L’Occitane products, and overall the room was well designed and we never felt cramped. The rest of the ship was also impressive – although the interior design was not to my taste, they felt fresh and modern in a comfortable way and more importantly, the dining room, coffee area (which, dangerously, was stocked day and night with biscuits, muffins and pastries) and bar (which had a rule of staying open until the last person had gone to bed!) had not a whiff of bingo hall about them. As expected, the outdoor Sky Deck (at the top of the ship, complete with Jacuzzi) was a magnificent space where there was a daily barbecue, an al fresco eating area and lots of sunloungers for, well, lounging on. If we had simply stayed on the boat for the entire time, I would have kicked back, relaxed and just enjoyed the ride. But being a river cruise, there were stops planned! There was an itinerary! And activities were organised!

First stop was a bicycle tour of the ridiculously chocolate-box pretty riverside hamlet of Dürnstein, a 15^th-century town in the World Heritage-listed Wachau Valley in Lower Austria. The town is a gorgeous architectural mash-up of gothic, renaissance and baroque buildings with red roofs, crumbing stone facades, winding little cobblestone streets, chintzy shop signs and flower boxes everywhere, anchored by an ornate blue-and-white belltower at the town’s centre. Being a renowned wine region, it seemed only fair to try a few drops of local vin – the Riesling and grüner veltliner (a type of grape that results in a dry white) wines we tasted were delicious. While visiting Schloss Dürnstein, a Relais & Chateaux property inside a 17^th century castle, we also got to sample a local apricot liqueur called Marillenschnaps, which was a warming treat.

After a quick sail up the river, we docked in the town of Rossatz, where we were serenaded by a band in bonnets and velvet waistcoats as we wandered through vineyards, sampling the local wines. We were then led Pide-Piper-style to the town square where we were served a hearty rustic feast prepared by the local residents. Lots of merriment, Marillenschnaps and even a little dancing was had before stumbling back to the Illumination for a dreamy, floating sleep.

The next day we cruised to the border of Austria and Slovakia, where we disembarked for a day trip to explore the splendor of the Schloss Hof palace and its manicured gardens. Inside the creamy yellow palace, the interiors would make any fan of baroque design weep with joy – think opulent, highly patterned wallpapers, ornate, intricately carved furniture lavished with gold leaf and sumptuously rich soft furnishings. We took a little guided tour, where we learned that Empress Maria Theresa, who owned the palace in the mid 18^th century, was ‘obsessed’ with hygiene and was know to bathe every three months, unlike her husband who only washed twice in his life. Yep. Outside, the gardens were pristinely trimmed, ordered and in perfect symmetry, while the adjoining Meierhof Manor Farm delighted us with its white donkeys, four-horned goats and Brahma chickens, all happy to be petted. Back on the boat, it was once again time to eat… I’m not sure how I got this far into the trip without mentioning food because there is A LOT of eating on a cruise. In fact, I would say I did more eating than sightseeing! Enormous breakfast buffets with everything from traditional eggs and bacon through to fruit, cereal, pancakes, waffles, porridge, pastries, breads, soup, meats, cheeses, salad (yes, for breakfast) and more started the day. Then as soon as that had digested, a massive lunch was served, which consisted of two or three courses and was either a buffet or a barbecue. This was followed by afternoon tea, endless snacks and sweets, all topped off by a three-course dinner, chocolates, liqueurs and lots of booze. Every day. If I’m honest, there was too much food and although I know I’m in charge of what I eat, part of being on holiday is trying new things and sampling everything, and with all the food looking so mouthwateringly delicious, of course I stuffed myself at every mealtime (especially as the chefs were great about catering to dietary needs, too).

The following day we stopped at Bratislava, where I was shocked at how unattractive the city was… Moving right along to our last night, when it was discovered by the cruise director that it was my birthday. Cue the chefs bringing out a massive cake and the all the guests singing Happy Birthday. A party followed (I’d like to think for me, but it was the last night of the cruise…) where we danced until the small hours (the bar remained open, the sound system overtaken by Spotify playlists on various iPhones) before stumbling back to our suite, only to dock bright and (too) early the next day in Budapest at Liberty Bridge.

Having never thought I’d enjoy a cruise, I have to admit I had a great time. The ‘Illumination’ is a beauty and with scenery as gorgeous as that which flanks either side of the Danube, it’s a cruise that’s sure to float your boat.

What’s hot: The amazing floor-to-ceiling glass windows in the rooms – it’s so addictive to literally watch the world sail by.

What’s not: I didn’t much enjoy the Bratislava stop, but it’s always good to tick new places off the list.

Number of rooms: 83

Best room: The Royal Suites – they are the biggest rooms on the ship and have a dining area in-room. That said, we stayed in a suite and it wasn’t that much smaller than the Royal. The staterooms are the smallest on the ship and don’t have the magnificent floor-to-ceiling glass windows and I’d suggest that if you can afford the extra, book a suite if you can.

Who goes: 40+ travellers with money looking for a luxe break. That said, the average cruiser is mid-50s+, so keep that in mind.

Swimming pool: No, but there is a Jacuzzi on the top deck.

Spa: No, but there is a gym and a hair salon.

Eating & drinking: Let’s just say you’re going to put on the pounds during this eating extravaganza.

Free wifi: Yes, but it’s satellite wifi that’s not terribly reliable.

Getting there: Vienna is easy to get to – I flew EasyJet from Gatwick, but look up the best flights from wherever you are.

Price: It varies, and this price is for Australian departures, but you’re looking at around AUD$2,200pp, twin share, for 8 nights + airfares.

Website: avalonwaterways.com.au